Amnesia

So, I've been thinking this for a long time just haven't really had the time to refine it, but now it's come to the forefront of my mind. The ultimate test of nature versus nurture: what if you suddenly got full blown amnesia as people know it, called retrograde amnesia, would you still be the same person? I haven't seen too many instances of this in the fictional media. A lot of what we are stems from our memories and our experiences. It shapes our fears, aspirations and how we deal with pain and loss. If you could forget all but the basic information and skills, would you? Obviously it would be extremely hard to test something like this, as bringing on amnesia is as much of a mystery as how you can cure it is. And there is no way to grab two identically genetic people and raise them the same to test. I think of a lot of my problems. Amnesia in some ways could save me. Keep me from remembering. I mean, the bad times far outweigh any good. I suppose I'll have to wait until the find a way to safely induce before attempting to experiment.

Mortality

I think about death. Most people don't. Most are afraid to even utter the word. I tried, with some random folks, but instead I get a horrified response "Shh! Don't talk like that" as if Death is listening or something. We live, thus we die. It's simple. Now, it's not healthy to be thinking that much about it. It's not like something is too be gained, except for a greater appreciation of life.

Also, most people have a problem with dying. That's alright, nothing wrong with that. But life is not important. Sentient life is completely unnatural. It defies the natural cycle, by sheer will alone. There is an order in nature. And resisting an inevitable turn is just..... unnatural. I am not yet over my fear of death. I'm almost there. I'm sure if I asked a random stranger why they are alive, they would answer (after they get through with the weirdness of some guy asking them this) "Why would I die?". The problem with people and grieving is that they think life is eternal until it just happens. Being as how I don't care about near anyone, I haven't experienced this loss, firsthand. Sure, relatives, but I don't count them, as my standard of life was not affected. Will I see a shift in my stance on death if I experience firsthand? Who knows, but I doubt it. Living beings cannot comprehend death because you cannot compare it to any other kind of experience. To just not be. An end to your influence, your actions in the world.

Please Excuse Me

I noticed a very strange thing. I'm sure you know what subliminal means (if not, look it up, you ARE on the internet, after all). In all of your actions and words, as "subliminal" as they are, I see the true meaning of them. In ALL of your actions and words. Even where no subliminal underlying message is present. Things should never be taken at face value. So I ask you, please excuse my behavior, if you don't know what you did. I think the lack of communication is what causes most conflicts in the first place.

Maybe if I was stupid and brainless, we wouldn't have this problem.

The Outsider's Edge

So, now it's official. I'm not a group person. I previously thought this was because the groups that were the options, well, sucked. This is not the case. Even when I should be with "my group", I'm not. Simply because they are just not compatible people. I mean, these people have put entertainment up on a pedestal. I know this is a once in a decade trip, but they seem to salivate at thought of seeing a celebrity. Why? What do these celebrities do? They do nothing.

Entertainment used to be a muse for people of action. A source of inspiration to change the world. It was to move the mind, force you to think in ways that will cause you to reflect upon society and reflect upon yourself. Sadly though, this is no longer the case. Entertainment now is just a vessel for people to forget about their problems, instead of dealing with them directly or doing something to better their situation. It's just fucking disheartening to see what "moves" these people. Shakespeare and other known artists would go into rage at what is being done because of their work.

Basically, I realize why I am this way, now. I realize, without any confusion (okay, still a little), what I must do. My life's goal. I must reawaken human ingenuity. I must do the thing that no one wishes, so we can get back to what we do best: innovate, invent, discover, philosophize, ponder, wonder, and just plain be curious again.

I latched onto these people, the WTG community people, maybe I was hoping. Hoping that maybe they aren't as vain as they appear. Maybe, they ponder and wonder. Maybe they think, theorize and try to figure out. Maybe I'm just another blind fool. I could understand a small moment of "Ah, there's . Hmm, that's cool" But to lose your mind, to see, to hear, to..... it's pointless. What the fuck are they! They are no one! They won't change the world. They could die and the world would mourn, sure, but it would be none the different the next day! Why is so much focus on these people!

I realize I cannot wait for this tragedy to naturally occur. Action must be taken. Mankind must realize the potential that got us here, in the first place. This is, without a doubt, the saddest age of mankind.

"L" As In Logical

Your world. It's flawed. In a huge way. Judgments and decisions are based on emotions and the "feeling". Do you not know history? Many people follow the same broken cycle, as if they've learned nothing from their previous experiences. What does it take for someone to learn, to break the cycle? Someone, apparently, who can see the experiences of all others. One who knows that everything is temporary and nothing is excluded. By that reasoning, one would conclude to just enjoy themselves, until the end of their time. I don't see that as the case.

Not many want to learn, nowadays. And those that do, are rudely (and sometimes, violently) interrupted by those who desire a more.... destructive sense of fun. I'm not only talking only about those in some kind of school. Its people who wake up one day, see that they are, in fact, 35 and need to act as such. It boils down to, once again, entertainment and our need for comfortability. I learn, everyday. I seek to be better than I was, the day before. By watching, listening, taking in, incorporating every little thing into my being. Why would you float through life, in such agony.... well, agony with no end or goal.

Work towards something. A little goal. Find the proper motivation. Don't be a "breathe on my own" vegetable. If that's your life and how you want to live it, you might as well die. Seems like an utterly pointless existence. And I'm not just talking about physical exploits. Sure, those are good, too. But work your mind. Ponder, contemplate, hell, go in deep pray. Just don't be blank. Exercising the mind is just as important as stressing the body.

Morality

Good and bad are concepts that have no value, besides what one person puts on them.
What I think is bad, you may not think is. What I think is good, you may disagree. Don't assume that everyone has the same values. In nature, there is nothing that is inherently good or bad. Nowhere in nature, in the natural order of things, will you find a completely destructive force, without a reason. Well, besides mankind, but I won't get into that, here.

Adolf Hitler thought he was right. That he was saving the world. We look back now and see what a buffoon he was. His ideas were radical. I mean, really radical. Of course you know that... I hope. But he had tons of followers. People who died for him. Goes to show you that values are not the same, person to person.

Personally, alot of things that people would label as "bad", I don't see as so horrible. I don't have to explain that here. Just read earlier posts.

Morality, some get it from religion, some from common decency and some get it from serial killers.

All Are Created Equal but All Do Not Remain Equal

It would detest some of you to know that all people's lives are not equal. To say the life of a grocery store manager is equivalent to a leader of a whole nation, or even a governor of a state or city, is completely wrong. We all have to realize this. People's lives gain value, not from just being, but from influential actions.

Now, I don't pretend to think I'm better than most. I mean, to me, I am better than most. But, I have done nothing to back up my claim. I have not progressed our species enough to say "I'm better than the grocery store manager".

Which brings to my next point. Those that halt the progression of our society must be stopped. I would say religious zealots, but that's just the tip. To move forward in any meaningful way, it would take the masses to agree. Like, in America, the two-party system is so halting progression, a lot more than any religious ideology. The modern age has brought so many comforts, that people would like to just remain at this comfortable stage. We are moving forward, but too slowly because of these comforts. That's a reason I mentioned in an earlier post, why we need a catastrophe. To break up our comfortable lives and force us into action.

Ask yourself this: Do you value life or lives? It seems like a trick kind of question, but it's not. Example: say, in a bank, a hostage situation. You have 10 terrorists, who have stolen mass funds to wage their war against us. The police can give them what they got, the terrorists would leave peacefully. Or they could storm the place, with expected civilian casualties. What if giving the terrorists this money, could help them purchase mass destructive weapons, gases, poisons, or even a biological disease? What are a few complacent civilians' lives, by comparison? Or even a broader scale: A major city in which an oppressive, dangerous regime has used for their big operations. Bomb the city to the ground to save the world, at the cost of thousands of civilian lives? Even if it would save billions? Of course, there is always a chance that both, the regime and the bank terrorists are simply bluffing, but would you really take the chance?

Would you put the needs of individuals, over the needs of the whole race?

Perception: The Thin Line Between Reality and Fantasy

One thing that will always elude our understanding, is dreams. To dream. Even the word as a fantastical sounding to it. Now, as it stands today, it is the mind (in this post, by "mind", I mean the subconscious) trying to understand the thoughts, events, feelings, and emotions that have happened, throughout the day. And everyone likes to dream. To "experience" things that would, otherwise, cause you harm, if you ever did them in real life. Or a new angle on a memory. Or just the remembering of a memory, as it stood. So many different things can come from dreams. So many things can happen. Some of which bears thinking about, to understand exactly why such things happened, in that dream. Others, they are just mindless indulgence in things we can't have (violence, sex, or anything that isn't that, but equally..... disturbing).

Now of course, on the flip side, we have nightmares. My understanding is that, it is the conscience is punishing you for what you have done. Every time I hear the phrase "This is so I can sleep at night" (or some variations of that), I think. The mind is so great, it can literally cause you to not rest, just because of some ill deed you have done. Isn't that extraordinary?!

I had this ongoing nightmare, for months. I can remember it, even after all these years, so vividly. For months, almost every night, I dreamt that I was standing in front of a white house. It had a beautiful garden across the whole front of it. A bricked walkway from the door, to the sidewalk. It was at the end of a street, with another street running across the front of it. Beautiful neighbourhood.

As I stood directly in front of the door, looking upon the neighbourhood, a huge semi-truck was roaring towards me. Frozen in fear, I could do nothing but look on. At the second it got to me, I ducked, dodging under its huge lift.
Then, I wake up, quaking at the events.
It only stopped, when I finally stood my ground. Hit by the truck. Woken up again, except I woken up from that dream, for the last time. To this day, I still don't know what evoked it.

Dreams can open our minds to such things that we can't see in the real world. Allow us to get out our dark thoughts, without reprecussions.

Yet we still have no grasp on what propels them, or makes them be.

Last Resort

Now, I'm going say some good things about the human race (for a change). There is this inherent resilience. From looking at a particular problem, with a solution which is either not hard to figure out, easy, or, especially, a long way away, people tend to ignore it, move on as if their "intelligence" is insulted by pursuing the immediate action, or the simplest one. I can't be say this without admitting falling prey to this logic, many times before. But, when backed into a corner, when shown that there is only one absolute recourse, humans rise to the challenge. Hell, I've done some things I didn't quite think I was capable of, under the guise that there is only one solution and there was no way around it. Just very recently, I have had to change. To "accommodate" as it were. Become the opposite of what I thought I was. And you know what? Didn't seem so bad. Actually, I quite enjoyed (and still am enjoying) the experience of it all.

In fact, that's how I like it. The mental block that exists (and I am, assuredly, not the only one with this problem), it fades when backed into a corner, when faced with a last resort. It forces you to throw away the nonsense that existed in your mind before. It forces to show some gall, do the impossible (although which is usually the most probable, you just don't know it at the time). But, given a choice, it offers less of a.... visceral response. Delayed, thoughtful, which I have come to find, is actually very bad, sometimes. Such delays can cause the problem to grow to absurd proportions, so the new problem is bigger than the original.

In conclusion, I would prefer when there is only one action. Especially if that actions is the I desire. Erase the doubt, and move forward.

Or else, stay still, and hope you don't get hit.

Cosmic Logic

Fate. Pre-determined path. Never-ending cycle. Is there really a choice? "Everything happens for a reason" why must humans always try to answer everything? As intelligent beings, we should move past this foolish notion. Funny how they say things like that, then insist we should leave everything else alone. As if some benevolent will judge us, and accordingly, dole out either reward or punishment. I think these people must be purged. Or enlightened. But these people can't be enlightened. Stuck in their primitive beliefs, as if it means something. Or maybe it's so they don't have to take responsibility for their own actions.. In any case, it's a rot. WE choose our own path. WE have advanced our society, in spite of these knuckle-draggers who would wait out the "Rapture" and deny progression, because "God says so". Or maybe religion is just an excuse to do whatever they please, in the name of some benelovent (or malovent, but those don't exist anymore.... or at least I don't think so) deity.

I know it's a bit depressing to look at the grand scale and realize that the hourglass is draining. But if you can accept that and move past it, our society would advance so much, if nothing else then to find immortality. It is our duty, as the logical and above average intelligence THINKING people, to lead (or manipulate, whatever works) them into an ascended stage of their own being. More than entertainment. More than carnal desires. More than "I just want to shoot something today". More than "Dude, let's get hammered". More than gold. More than credit. More than anything they will be, by themselves. Let's just hope that someday will get leaders who realize this. Who move past simple material greed. To achieve.

'Course it's just something you have to be born into.