Afterthought

I realized a few things out in San Diego. Whatever I fooled my own mind into thinking beforehand, all went away as the times for choices came. I am who I am, simply put. I can't just be, like some people. I need a purpose. That's why tragedy is so attractive. Tragedy weakens the complacent and allows others to display their talents and abilities.

This trip also accelerated my growth, almost exponentially. I learned a lot. About myself and about the nature of humans.

Also, a strange thing happened. An "overwhelming" feeling befallen me. Sure, it was gut and it was instinct, without any logic or reason. Perhaps I missed my chance to explore it further. But it will fade with time. Feelings and emotions are only good, when kept in check. And this trip expelled too much from me. I am not one for feeling helpless, but such situations like these paralyze the unprepared. And unprepared I was.

And the sweet embrace of seclusion beckons me, once again. After two weeks of "being wanted", I am ready to fall back into my typical role.

I have changed. Only time will tell in what ways I changed the most.