What am I? This question is not often pondered. Because it sort of is a dumb question. But lately, I haven't been able to answer that. I have my beliefs and ideals, but I find myself sometimes acting, naturally, in a way unfitting of my personality. I attributed it to my getting "soft". It hasn't always been like this. But can one really live without doubt? The path I've created seems to lead nowhere. Well, nowhere good. But if I change my wheels now, can I really fully embrace the kind of person that would do that? In short, could I live with - myself? As I get older, I am fraught with these kinds of challenges. It's becoming harder to go on in this mentality.... in this frame.
So, for most who know me, know how I am. Then, why do the pains of being "me" exist? What came so easily a year ago, is becoming harder to maintain, now. Come to think of it, is it just a phase? Has what I thought was me, through and through, been a fucking phase?!?
So, perhaps, I am just a mockup of two personalities, at war with one another. Seeing who can win control, and make a decision helping along their own agenda. Heh, watch out, everyone. You never who, with me, who you'll get.
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