Thursday, May 6, 2010

Ashamed and Disgusted

I noticed today that someone I once held in the highest regard, reduced to such.... boring normality, it disgusted me. Despite everything that has happened between this person and I, I regarded them as unique, unconventional, daring to be different. But the game of life gets to everywhere and everyone plays, all the same. Becoming mindless and.... average. It just reminds me that everyone thinks that being different is someone a rebellious kid notion, that everyone "grows up" and grows out of it. Call me immature, but I don't want to be like that. I want to say things that challenges people's preconceived conventions, challenge the conventional and just say a big fuck you to the boring repetition that people call lives.

People really think they have to play in this game. While it's true you have to have certain elements - college degrees, good jobs, functional business appearance - that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself, who you are and become p.c. It's just so disheartening, and especially if I thought you were once unique, but you sold out to appease others or make life easier for you or more tolerable, you lose massive respect from me. You fucking be yourself, no matter what else. Seeing this kind of degradation.... it makes me think of the memories and now they are tainted with this stink of hypocrisy. Not many people is willing to live like me, say the things that I say, do things that I do, and I'm partially glad for that. But disheartened that beautiful, unique mind is now absolute shit. Ha, my only reward is this person will never have any kind of happiness, or rather peace with themselves, while they live this lie.

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