Remembrance

I can't stop thinking. Each little thing that happens brings new light into that particular piece of my life. Simple acts turn into grandeur conspiracies. The need to know what you think about, especially when it pertains to me, causes to act in a way that either reinforces that belief (which could be non-existent to begin with) or creates it. The character, the show I put on for you to judge that, instead what I really am, it creates all this data to be stored. With each analysis, with each piece of information I garner, I feel that just the simple act of remembering reality without tons of MY perspective (some will be there, there's no getting around that) is growing harder and harder. I forget the majority of things I shouldn't. Maybe from all the other data, that this I deem insignificant, gets deleted. This is why I cannot carry on in any normal kind of fashion. This is why how I relate to all of you will be just all me. You have no say in the matter.

That's just a theory. The real reason, I don't know. Maybe in a few years, I won't even remember anything that is happening now, even significant events. It's growing, this "disease" or whatever it is.

Through the constant face, that is the only way I'll remember. What would you do?