Essential Experiences

I sometimes feel like missing out on those experiences was a bad thing, almost a potentially life-threatening thing. No matter how they turn out, everyone who goes through the rounds seems at least well adjusted and adaptive. My future is bleak because I avoided everything, saw fit to exclude all of it from my life because of unnecessaries, fear, or just plain laziness. But the one thing that fills me is the fact that I won't be like them

I don't look for the normal life. I don't want it. Every human experiences the same thing, go through the same rounds, to the point of utter repetition. And for what? "I did it too". Is that all you have? I just don't see it. I want a different set of circumstances and experiences. And maybe living my life in negatives rather than positives is none so great, either. I don't know what I want, but I know what I DON'T want. Strange how things turn out... I just want to be different. I want to tell my story at 60 to some youngster and change his life. I want to live and be all the things that normal people cannot, because of responsibilities, obligations, family, romance, friendships and just things in general people want to do (like owning property). I don't want to fucking relate to any of you. All of you are boring. Your lives drift on and you could be replaced in a micro second. I yearn to be different, if nothing else then to discover what it's like to live out of favor. I can learn all I want about living in favor by listening to all of you.